The Power of Words

I read an article from Ahmad A. Talib in NST about "The Story About The Tiny Frogs…..". A really good story to ponder....

There once was a bunch of tiny frogs who arranged a running competition. The goal was to reach the top of a very high tower. A big crowd had gathered around the tower to see the race and cheer on the contestants. The race began. No one in the crowd really believed that the tiny frogs would reach the top of the tower. You heard statements such as: “oh, WAY too difficult!! They will NEVER make it to the top” or “Not a chance they will succeed. The tower is too high!”. The tiny frogs began collapsing. One by one. Except for those, who in a fresh tempo, were climbing higher and higher. The crowd continued to yell: “It is too difficult! No one will make it!” More tiny frogs got tired and gave up. But one continued higher and higher and higher. This one wouldn’t give up! At the end everyone else had given up climbing the tower. Except for the one tiny frog who after a big effort was the only one who reached the summit! Then all of the other tiny frogs naturally wanted to know how this one frog managed to do it! A contestant asked the tiny frog how he found the strength to reach the goal? It turned out that the winner was DEAF!

The wisdom of this story is: “Never listen to other people’s tendencies to be negative or pessimistic because they take your most wonderful dreams and wishes away from you – the ones you have in your heart! “Always think of the power words have. Because everything you hear and read will affect your action! Therefore, always be positive! And above all: Be DEAF to the people who tell you that you cannot fulfill your dreams!”

Strive & Fight

Qaal Allahu Ta’aala – al-Nisa’ 95 dan 96.

95.Not equal are those believers who sit (at home) and receive no hurt and those who strive and fight in the cause of God with their goods and their persons. God hath granted a grade higher to those who strive and fight with their goods and persons than to those who sit (at home).Unto all (in Faith) hath God promised good, but those who strive and fight hath He distinguished above who sit (at home) by a special reward.
96. Ranks especially bestowed by Him and Forgiveness and Mercy, For God is Oft-forgiving, Most Merciful.

Control Your Anger!

Last three days I saw 2 postgraduate students were arguing about their paper work. Then an argument became serious and it took place infront of many other postgraduate students. I felt distracted and stunned looking at the two 'mature' students when one of them yelled and pulled the paper work from her friend's hand and torn the paper work. Oh my goodness!, I was not comfortable with the situation. I don't know the real issue of the problem and I have no right to be in anyone's side (none of my business anyway) but my issue here is that in my opinion we should control our anger and emotion infront of others. I don't mean that we have to be hypocrite but when we lost our anger it shows the 'dark' side of us and people can jump into any conclusion about our behaviour.

I know that most of the postgraduate students now are in tense towards the end of the semester with the upcoming dateline of paper works and final examination. However, when working with others try to control our tense. Argument is normal. Anger is also completely normal, usually it is healthy human emotion. But when it gets out of control and turns destructive, it can lead to problems such as problems in our work and in relationships with our friends.

Thus, in my opinion;

1. When we have an argument, never argue infront of others because it can drop your friends 'waterface'.

2. When our argument become heated, we need to slow down, calm ourself, think through our responses. Never say the first thing that comes into our head, but slow down and think carefully about what we want to say. At the same time, listen carefully to what the our friend is saying and take our time before answering.

3. It's natural to get defensive when we're criticized, but don't fight back. Instead, we have to listen what's underlying words our friends want to tell. It may take a lot of patient questioning on our part, and it may require some breathing space, but don't let our anger or our partner's get into discussion spin out of control.

4. Lastly, I think the situation can be avoided if we can tolerate with each other and sometimes need to lower down our egoism.

Life is a test

I just finish my mid term exam, 2 weeks of sleepless night. My friends advised me not to bother much on this exam but to concentrate more on my comprehensive exam next year. As for me, as long as it is an exam I need to do the best I can. Then, I took a break went back to my hometown. A good therapy for me as its always good to smell the familiar air, view a familiar scene and surrounded by siblings who always argue regardless of who is right or wrong.

I met with primary school friend asking me why didn't go back during the polling day. I told her that I got my mid term exam, she gave a comment "hidup ni dah satu ujian and you tambah lagi exam dalam hidup you". I just grinned (It means I have no answer for her comment).

Half of her words are true. Yes, I must admit we go through a lot of tests in life. Indeed, life is a continuous tests. Studying or working is also a test, a test in many ways ( Infinite definition of test). If I study and take my exam it doesn't mean that I already increase the burden of the tests in my life because the tests in life will come in different ways to different individuals. So, just accept your tests and try the best you can in your life.

If life is a test and we get graded by our performance, I don't know about you but I want A++.

Life is one big test—
An on-going “final exam.”
We’re given the talents we need,
with many chances to succeed.
If we only knew
what to do;
And what was false
and what was true .

As it turns out,
we are just stewards,
renting this life,
managing our resources;
charged to do out best,
using our talents
to increase the harvest.

And we do get graded—
Not by some absolute standard
or within some bell curve;
But against ourselves—
How well we used what we had,
helping others get a better grade.

My Hope.... My Allah

Alone I have tried

To brush tears aside

In a world

Made of stone

Made of clay

Alone I have walked

When I could have talked

In a world

Made of steel

Made of stone

There are days when my faith is so gone

I feel like I’m sitting just outside my mind

But when I pray

I feel I’m back inside

Thank you

There are days when my faith is so weak

There are things that feel so wrong yet right

But when I pray

I feel Im strong again

Thank you

There are days when the wind is so strong

That I feel my life has dried up forever

But when I pray

I feel your moisture

Thank you . . .my only hope . . .my ALLAH

Rendang vs English Stew

My friends told me that doing Phd is not like cooking English stew where you can campak everything inside the pot, but it is more like cooking rendang where you need to put the ingredients one by one until it is ready to eat. Hence, the process of cooking rendang takes longer time than English stew. I think her words are true. I know how to cook rendang but to get the best taste of rendang definitely I still need a guidance. I remember my Makcik Intan ( my uncle's wife), she cooks the best rendang in town. Even a simple pindang was extremely delicious. I always ask for her secret recipe but all her ingredients of rendang are just like mine and until one day I discovered she cook a kuali of rendang for 8 hours with a slow cook ( Wow! I rather do something else in 8 hours, besides that my brothers can finish my rendang in 8 minutes). That makes the difference between her rendang and mine + her skill and experience. She really has the passionate and patience in cooking rendang and enjoy people eating it.

Another story of rendang is when I was in a boarding school we have to learn foreign languages such as France, Japanese and Arabic. So there were three Japanese teachers who taught Japanese language. One day they invited us to their house and they cooked the Malay foods including rendang. However, all the Malay foods taste and look like Japanese foods. Asking them where they got the recipe, they told us they learnt from magazines and try to cook it. Despite the awkward taste we still melantak the food. I think our Japanese teacher during those days suppose to join our cooking class (I was in the girl school, so I have to join the cooking class) to learn how to cook Malay foods.

Moral of The Story :

1. Doing Phd is a process, it is not an instant learning and outcome

2.Even you know about the topic really well but you still need a guidance from those who are more experience to teach you how to give 'flavor' in your topic

3. Passionate and patience are really important in getting the best outcome.

4. Learning from books are important but sometimes we need somebody to teach us in practical

5. Cooking English stew is simpler than rendang.

Dare to Dream

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. (Mark Twain)

I chatted with one of my brothers last night asking why he was still in the office. He replied that he was analysing political situation for election day. Asking him who has potential to win he jokingly said - Tuk Maimun

Tuk Maimum is one of the independent candidates for election this year. She is 87 years old illiterate grandmother from Kuala Terengganu. A lot of people including newspapers are making joke of her but I think I should look her in a positive view.

I'm not her supporter or her biggest fan but I think she has the courage to become one of the candidates. She has to face all the criticism from her kampung folks and Malaysian, risking her money eventhough other candidates seem to be more capable to win. People said it is better for her using her money to go for umrah or do something else but sometimes it is very easy to criticize rather than giving advice. Who knows what she wants in life? Who knows she might see what others do not see or understand? Who knows what gives her higher utility(economic term) in life?Who knows what she dream when she was young?

Whatever her objectives are, at least she dare to dream and achieve her goal to become an election candidate after few times of trying. That is an effort. At least one day she can tell her grandchildren that she used to be in the election as a candidate not a voter.

My point here is sometimes it is good to have a dream where you can picturised what you want in life. If you have a dream, pursue it because dream will become a dream when never try to realize it. Don't just day dream of what you want (because people don't know what you want in life), plan to achieve, it take a risk and then act on your dream. Dare to dream because it may be a path of your success or at least you achieve half of your goal in life. Only you know your dream and what you want in life.

p/s before people ask me whether I will vote for her. My answer will be undi adalah rahsia....anyway I'm not a voter from her kampung.