After about 1 year of juggling between pros and cons, I make my final decision. I'm going to do my Phd in UKM and not UK. It was really hard decision with full of controversies. Having a dilemma for a year was a tough time for me. As undecided person I remain in doubt, in anxiety, in anguish. But I learnt few lessons. Indecision accumulates problems, worries and sometimes aggression. I wasted a lot of my times too. To decide is precisely to know to renounce, to know I have to lose advantages and values in order to win others.
It is truly a lie if I said I'm not sad about letting go the biggest opportunity in m
y life. Infact it is heartbreaking when I saw my friends who were together with me during BTN course for overseas students sent me emails. Going to study in UK was my dream. I struggled to get this oversea scholarship, passed all the tests and requirement, went through few courses. I didn't have problems in getting universities. I was offered to go to Southampton University and was given with 2 supervisors. No problems in my scholarship level but there was 'something' that makes me think many times about going there until I reached my final decision. I'm NOT going to UK. It was a shock news for everybody. My collegues asked me why and gave me their opinion and comments. I have no answer for that, I just follow my heart, make my choice and just let it happens when it happens.
y life. Infact it is heartbreaking when I saw my friends who were together with me during BTN course for overseas students sent me emails. Going to study in UK was my dream. I struggled to get this oversea scholarship, passed all the tests and requirement, went through few courses. I didn't have problems in getting universities. I was offered to go to Southampton University and was given with 2 supervisors. No problems in my scholarship level but there was 'something' that makes me think many times about going there until I reached my final decision. I'm NOT going to UK. It was a shock news for everybody. My collegues asked me why and gave me their opinion and comments. I have no answer for that, I just follow my heart, make my choice and just let it happens when it happens. Our life is our choice, and I make a choice to determine the path I should follow. In the process, I may loose something and may gain something...but that is life. I cannot always get what I want. Sometimes, I have to sacrifice something in order to get somethings else...and sometimes I really want something and instead are given somethings else... Whatever happen, I've always believe I should do as best as I can for whatever I have or get.
Bye-bye Southampton!!
4 comments:
Apa-apa pun keputusan ngko, aku percaya ngko pasti berjaya. Percayalah...
Dear Azuriy,
I believe that you are kind of intelligent / smart person. A smart person can / able to change the "lost" or the missed opportunity to something that is beneficial.
My advice; Just look at its positive side. Lihatlah juga pada sisi lain dlm sesuatu kerugian/kekeruhan itu krn disitu terdapat suatu kebajikan, usaha, kemenangan dan yg paling besar ialah ganjaran pahala.
Terimalah kehidupan sebagaimana adanya. Adakanlah penyesuaian didlm diri utk menjalaninya dan mematangkanya.
So, cheer up Azuriy. To me, you are seem OK in your life.
Dear zu,
Kak lin kenal awak as a kind, strong and full of spirit person. Why you seem to be so worry about your decision? Kak Lin cuma harap you do the best you can and coming back with your Phd. GOOD LUCK!
Dear Azuriy,
Just to add on my previous comment.
Chances for you to go oversea actually never been closed. The time that is right / suitable for you to go oversea is just not arrive yet. Insyaallah it will come to you. (My opinion only); Allah knows us better. Maybe you are not the selected one to go there for a long time. If you analyze further, you might find it is unsuitable to be there at this period of time. We sometimes really appreciate the opportunity given for us to experience it only in a shorter duration. Who knows, one of the day during your study, you might go to Southampton Univ. for a week maybe, for presenting your research. Then, without realizing, you gain two vital situation, i.e. UKM experience + Southhampton Univ. establishment. Make sense huh! ...All the best for your PhD and keep writing kay..
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