My friend from MUST called me saying that he was doing sightseeing/ window shopping in Sogo. He had finished presenting his proposal yesterday. So, this was some sort of celebrating himself by going to Sogo after successfully overcome this hurdle. (Giving presentation for Phd proposal (defending the proposal) could be an "earthquake"!.) He sounded happy and I was told he didn’t have much problem in his proposal. Well, Alhamdulillah… another one proceeds to the next level. I’m happy for him for another notch up.
I was invited by the faculty to attend a proposal presentation on this coming Friday. This time, the presenter is somebody I knew and she has done her Phd for the last four years on part time basis. She is studying on competency of pawnshop if I’m not mistaken. Hopefully she will do well in her presentation, and there will be another candidate will proceed to the next level in our faculty and hence, I will get more motivation to proceed what I’m doing now.
To see one by one of your friends passing this stage is a mixed feeling, happy for them but at the same time wondering when will be my time? When will I be in this stage, half of the journey of doing Phd?. Will I present what I’m working on smoothly? Do I have enough shields to protect myself from those eyes and words?. Those eyes belong to Professors and the so called experts in the related field. I can imagine that all eyes are focusing on me and on what I’m going to say. Do I have enough bullet proof in my heart, my words and mind to protect me from the "bullets" waiting for me at the end of my presentation? Am I will be well prepared?. Are the panels going to be harsh to me? I remembered my sister told me that she felt very pity and wanted to help a student who was ‘shot’ by the panels when he couldn’t answer the question during the proposal presentation. Despite all the horror story I heard, I’m still anxiously waiting and praying for this stage.
Argh!!! Dream on Azuriy. You haven’t sat for your qualifying exam yet. Bear in mind you have to sit for my qualifying exam in early March and you are still not really well prepared. Another two papers for qualifying exams will be held in September. Still longg way to go. Sigh!.
2 comments:
Dear Azuriy, ..Assalamua'laikum,
Feeling worry for a student who has reached up to your stage, I think is normal. At least you are not feeling over confident. In your mind now, you need to think that, what you are doing is to keep yourself prepared. Keep reading, even one page a day is better than you pressure your self to finish one chapter a day (as an example), and please avoid working last minute. You're lucky when you still get chances being invited to learn from your friends presentation. However, worrying too much is destructing Sis. Remember, last time I wrote;.. Orang yang terlalu memikirkan akibat sesuatu keputusan, sampai bila2 pun tak akan menjadi berani. So, Cheer Up!
I believe your PhD subject/thesis title is different from others right? The more, sound technical of the thesis, the more untricky questions will be asked. The way of answering the question is also important to learn. The main thing is, all the professors don't feel you are losing track, they feel like you want their opinions, and never make they feel that you think they don't know what you are talking about.
Wish you all the best for your upcoming qualifying exams. I do always believe you can overcome all the hurdles coz you really a strong person (otherwise you would not arrive to this stage). Remember, ..jalan jihad sentiasa berliku. One thing for sure, you will always get my doa. Keep smiling sis.
Wassalamah Wa I-lal-li-qa'
Relax le sis, sampai masa belasah aje present proposal tu.
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