Lazy Rambling

أللهم إني أعوذ بك من الهم والحزن

وأعوذ بك من العجز والكسل

وأعوذ بك من الجبن والبخل

وأعوذ بك من غلبة الدين وقهر الرجال

I should read a LOT of the above doa. I’m really in a lazy mood. Lazier than normal. As people always blaming on the hormones for any changing moods, I can’t even find any significant relationship between hormones and laziness. I’m feeling lazy. What else can I say. Busyness is a really nonsensical defense for my laziness at the moment. I’m not at all feeling busy & still waiting for the exam result to come out. I’m really lazy to do anything, reading, writing and etc. Even to fill in the form for kenaikan pangkat and scrutinize all the documents is like ages to do. I know the new coordinator in the department is already babbling for my procrastination. Got her message recently written “study hard and remember all my advices”. When I read the message twice, I felt like replying “which one?” .There are a lot of advices she gave me before I left for study leave. Personal advices, study advices, do’s and don’ts and etc. Anyway I should be thankful for the advices and reminder.

There was annual meeting of Economics Graduate Association recently and all the postgraduate students were invited to attend the meeting. Due to my laziness I didn't even bother to go until Kak S called me. The meeting couldn't proceed unless there was enough quorum. So, I was there just to complete the quorum. The best part I was forced by Mr President to hold a post in the association. I think all those who were qualified (finish the coursework) got the posts (remember there was not enough quorum). I was actually threatened by Mr President with the Phd room. Ha3x. If you don't have any posts, then it will be really difficult for you to get a room. Doesn't it funny if you are in the politics, people really want to hold any positions but in this meeting you have been persuaded and threatened to hold a post which you don't even bother about it. Well....another story I made an irrational thing on that day too. I was fasting and Mr President asked me to eat nasi ambeng that they have ordered tripled than those who attended the meeting. Again, I was lazy to explain to him that i was fasting and was pity to look to those who work hard for the meeting (not a really solid reason to breakfasting) so I ate nasi ambeng. Half way eating I felt like giler ape breakfasting for the sake of nasi ambeng. No, I'm not a fan and far from a lover of nasi ambeng. (Nasi lalapan lagi sedap). Feeling regret for the whole day.

I went to Kompleks Tabung Haji Kelana Jaya to send my second abang. Abang performs his hajj this year. He went alone not be accompanied by anyone except his bags. Should not worry about that, insyallah he will find a lot of Malaysian’s friends and friends all over the world. As abang was wearing his Tabung Haji bracelet and I could remember vividly the same scene at the same place three years ago, when my sister’s MIL trying to put the bracelet on my hand she said this is the most expensive bracelet I’m going to wear. It needs a lot of money, efforts, sweat, determination, patience, sacrification and invitation from Allah to wear it. Her words touched my heart very much. The feeling of wearing it will never be the same as you are wearing the RMXXXXX gold/ platinum bracelets women can dream for. When I saw that scene again, the mix feelings, the sense of jealousy (jeles org dpt p haji) at the same time happy for abang as he will be guest of Allahfor the hajj season this year. Kakak said who knows we are going to be invited by Allah too this year. Sound impossible for this year but who knows! May be... the following years lah kak!. On another scene, Bibik got the teary eyes when she heard the Talbiyah. She wondered whether she will get a chance to perform hajj. I told her that Allah will invite His guests if the person has a determination to go regardless the races, the wealth, the colour or the countries you come from. As I was explaining to my nephews and the niece where and what abang is going to do during hajj, she was listening and told me “ enak ye kak kalau dapat pergi haji. When I looked at her, I saw her hoping face and the sincerity in her words I wish I have a lot of money and sending somebody like Bibik to Mecca. Back to the story of my abang, he is in Madinah now, a “lone ranger” journey to fulfill the 5^th pillar. I know abang is well prepared for the journey mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually. But still the tense, the anxious and the happiness can be seen through his face before he checked in to the hall. I just wish abang a great and successful pilgrimage. May the journey be the beginning of a better tomorrow, and the return be a fresh start altogether.

I got a reunion invitation for Economics students from U* on the 20^th December. I even got a personal invitation from Bib (one of active members of the organizer) but sorry Bib I don’t think I will go due to certain reasons. My schedule is filled with the plans which are “subject to change”. By the way why I need to explain?….I owed nobody any explanations for not attending the event that I used to be excited to go. Yes…I have done my work during the tarik session but I didn’t make any promises to go for the reunion. The pity part is for Is,(I know you are reading this). She will come from Sarawak on this December . I feel guilty when she said if I go then she will go too. If I don’t go definitely she will not too(Ini kes Titanic, I jump, you jump) . Well… see what I can do but 70% is definitely I will not going. Another 30% I’m still thinking. Love to meet my friends whom I haven’t met for a long time but still I have good reasons for not going.

Got this newspaper, sound like a funny news but it is a true story and and there is lesson should be learnt too.

People always said life is too short. Enjoy the moments and live life to the fullest but what if working is your enjoyment

P/S: Pardon me I'm so lazy to make paragraphs and subtitles