End of The Year Rambling - Random Thoughts

1. I'm excited Malaysia football team won in Piala Suzuki eventhough i'm not a fan of football game or watch the final game of iala Suzuki but I'm not really excited with the cuti given because I have a lot of matters/works suppose to be settled today. So my day, turn out to be a very unproductive day.

2. I want to balik kampung but have no chance to do it now. I need to see SV next week after a long breaks of not have any meeting with him but still got few emails from SV.

3. It is the last day of the year. In a few hours another new year begins. Again... time flies so fast until I have to reminiscing what I have gone through this year.I have gone through ups and downs in life and study. A year that was full of challenges I should say but Alhamdulillah I'm still very happy with this year. I try to look at year in a positive way so I can lead to more positive day next year.

End of The Year Rambling 2 - A Bright Morning & A Full Spirit

Make it Life Simple....So...It Become Easy
Make it Life Happy....So...It Become Colorful
Make it Life Beautiful....So...It Become Wonderful

Life i s a bit gloomy lately with everybody is not around going for holidays or whatever business they have at the end of the year. Since last week, it was very hard for me to concentrate and focus in what I'm doing. I tried to keep the motivation and the momentum in finishing my work. Somehow, it always failed. Today, I came a bit early to my work station and started to work. Alhamdulillah up to now I have finished doing the abstract for conference, reading few articles and now trying to do the write up for the third essay. Now I'm having my break for a moment since a group of foreign students are having discussion in a loud voice. I'm a bit distracted* I should say but still OK. Hopefully the mood, momentum and motivation I gained this morning will not be lasted and hopefully I can show some progress to SV after he come back from holidays.

* the discussion doesn't ruffle my happy mood. Besides that it is normal situation here for listening the loud voice discussion.

End of The Year Rambling -The Activity I Miss Most

I realize that the activity I miss most while doing my phd is cooking. Not a really great cook but just love to do it. For now, it is just not economical and practical for me to do this activity. huhuhu

Hardworking am I?

1. End of the year

I am all alone in Phd room. Nobody is here it seems everybody is on holiday mood. Even my SV is on holiday until early next year. I haven't submit my progress report to him. i guess need to submit it next year.

If other people come to the Phd room and looking at me still sitting infront of my computer while other students are on their holidays, I think they will think I'm a hardworking student. The truth is that I'm alone writing a blog while hoping the miracle of ideas do come to my theory and model.

2. Mouse

I wonder how long the computer mouse lasted before it cannot function. Mine lasted not more than 3 months. The last one was used only one month. I lost count how many computer mouse I've used during my Phd study. I've already bought the computer mouse from the cikai one or the most well known brand. It lasted almost the same. I wonder the quality of computer mouse now a days @ maybe I'm just hard working student who over utilized the computer mouse.I think the truth is that I'm a bit ganas using my computer mouse.


3. Progress

Not much progress for the last two months. What else can I say...seems I'm not hardworking enough.

All humans are dead except those who have knowledge

and those who have knowledge are asleep except for those who do good deeds

and those who do good deeds are deceived except for those who are sincere

-Imam Shafie





ampunilah hamba, ya Allah, maha penerima taubat

ampunilah hamba, ya Allah daripada segala dosa

tambahkan kepadaku ilmu yang berguna

berikanlah aku amalan yang dimakbulkan

kurniakan kepadaku rezki yg mluas

perkenankan taubatku dgn taubat nasuha

Salam Maal Hijrah

The Islamic Era did not start with the victories of Islamic wars, nor with the birth or death of the Prophet (peace be upon him), nor with the Revelation itself. It starts with Hijrah, or the sacrifice for the cause of Truth and for the preservation of the Revelation. It was a divinely inspired selection. God wanted to teach man that struggle between Truth and Evil is eternal. The Islamic year reminds Muslims every year not of the pomp and glory of Islam but of its sacrifice and prepares them to do the same."~Nadwi

Another year ends with doa led another year to start with doa. A new chapter, a new beginning and a new hope. May Allah bless us and fill our life with happiness, full of success and hopefully lead us to hijrah for becoming a better Muslim. May this year also brings us more barakah and rahmat from Allah.

“A good life is when you assume nothing, do more, need less, smile often, dream big, laugh a lot and realize how blessed you are for what you have"

A Dim Light & A Book

1. A dim light

After few weeks I’m still struggling to find the way out of the darkness I’ve gone through. Today, I found a dim light but still unsure whether the dim light is the one I need. SV was not around for me to ask and he cannot be disturbed this week. For now, nothing much I beseech except a clear mind, patience and strength to go on. I need His guiding light to lead me out of this dark tunnel. Anyway, thanks to all my friends for lending their hands especially for listening to the problems even though I think none of them really understand about my topic, sharing their opinions, giving their passwords or getting the journals that are not been subscribed by my university.


2. A book with 895 pages and 1 conclusion

I think my SV notice that I’m stuck for quite long in the third essay. There are few time he asked me about the third essay. Before SV left for his ___( I don’t know where he is now because he just said he will not be around and have a busy schedule) hr asked me to read a book entitled - History of ---------. It has 895 pages. Definitely it is not a day work to finish the reading. It is countless times I can fall asleep in between flipping the books. For somebody who loves number rather than words this is a challenging work. However, from the reading I’ve got one conclusion that the indicator chosen should be changed to dummies. It must be equal to one if it is applied the econometric analysis. After having a headache thinking on that matter before, I can’t believe it is as simple as that. Alhamdullillah even though I still can't find the clue, but at least for now a small fraction of the problems solved.

I just love this quote;

Tanpa keberanian mimpi tak akan jadi kenyataan

To those it may concern :.

You never know until you try. Have guts!!!


P/s Selamat Hari Raya Aidil Adha

Distraction

I want to write this....



but been distracted by this


(my hphone was used to take the picture of this hphone. Sila simpati kat hphone ni, sape punya le ni?)

and this....



and also this






P/S alasan2 kenapa tesis tak siap lagi2. he3x

In the Middle of Darkness but For Once I Can Still Smile

It is already November. Time flies too fast. Last month I haven't done much progress in my thesis writing. In fact I was and I am in the middle of searching a solution for an issue arising from my writing. But still I can't find the answer and in the darkness to find the way out in order to proceed with my writing.

Today I met with my SV asked him how to solve the issue. He gave the guidelines but of course I still have to search for the solution. While discussing about another issue SV told me that I should done the calculation. For the first time answered I have done that. When he asked me to do another thing and for the second time I said I have done that also. Never in my life since I became his supervisee I can say that. Remember I wrote that my SV is super efficient and he is like a racing car trying to pull a bull cart.

For all this while when he asked "Z---- have you done this, have you finish that, have you manage to find what I asked @ how's your progress? My answer will be not yet, or I'll try to do it. Never once I can answer yes before he could asked.

But today for the first time I can smile not because I'm proud of myself but because the satisfaction I've done something without been directed. For person like me it is an achievement especially in the middle of trying the way out from this darkness.

A Brain with 3 Partitions

I'm not a multi tasking person. I focus one my work one by one. When it comes to thesis writing I try to finish essay by essay. When I arrive to my third essay, it should be synchronized with my first and second essay so that the thesis will be inter related. SV starts asking what to check again on the three essays. It means i have to go back to my first and second essay and at the same time writing the third essay. With different essays I have different literature reviews to look it back. Not an easy task. When I'm working again with my first essay, I forgot what I read for my third essay. It is all mixed up. I think I have 3 partitions in my brain to think what to do with these three essays simultaneously.

Essay 1 - Check back all the literature reviews. Omit the not so related LR and add new LR if it is needed. Check he sequence of the sections

Essay 2 -Still not a solid essay, need to amend and improve few parts

Essay 3 - Finding the indicators and construct the model for the last essay.

P/s: Mode - headache

Midnight Rambling

I'm neither sleep nor read. Try to sleep but my eyes wide open. Try to read but my brain do not "open" very well. In between of not doing anything I've eaten instant noodle with a cup of coffee. I think my neighbour's maid may think I'm some kind of weird person cooking at this hour. Instant noodle seems so nice to be eaten during this midnight.hehehe


update; instant noodle + coffee is making me stay up until this 4 am.

huhuhu

1. Momentum
Still out of momentum to do my writing. A bit stuck. I didn't submit the paper for langkawi conference. I didn't manage to finish it on time. This is the second time I didn't do what my SV asked me to do. huhuhu

2. Notch Up?
SV already asked me to do my third essay. I wonder whether it is a notch up or my SV tried to divert because he might think I'm a bit stuck on 2nd essay. When I toldI haven't solidly finish my second essay, he said takpe. Either or, takpelah... I'll just do it.huhuhu

3. SV
My SV will not be around Malaysia next week. he will be to 3 different continents but as usual he already assign me to do something for my research. I thought I'm a bit free when he is not around but it is not. Thinking it back I'm some sort of tak sedar diri of my status as a research student who has to work 24/7 with @ without my supervisor. huhuhu.

4. Hampers that turn out to be hampeh
I was assigned to buy goodies and make it into hampers for PostGrad association' AGM next week. I thought I can do it. Buying goodies is fun but to turn into hampers is not as easy as I thought given I'm a bit keras tangan. I've done few hampers but it looks so sloppy & not really nice. Easy to say it looks so hampeh. I thought of hiring a pro to do it but given the limited budget by the association it will not be possible. Anyhow I have to do it eventhough that hampers already turn to hampeh. What is really important the goodies inside the hampers. huhuhu

5. Eyes infection
I'm having eyes infection or I don't know whether it is sakit mata. I've a lot of things to do & people to see next week. It is including my research and the AGM matters. With my red eyes I don't think it is appropriate for me to go out from the house. huhuhu

This Is Part of What I'm Researching

I'm still struggling to understand and finish my second essay and I found this interesting animated explanation. This is actually a part of my research. In case those of you who still didn't understand where your money goes after depositing it in the bank so this record is something should be watched.

Still in Raya Mood

I'm still in raya mood. Went back a big earlier because of the guilty feeling towards my unfinished writing. I promised my SV to send a paper for a conference inlangkawi but haven't written any single word. Need a momentum to start back what i left before raya. It is not easy after leaving what I did for almost 10 days. Loads of Raya foods maybe slowing down my brain to think anything related to my work. So, here i am sitting at my table infront of my laptop without any ideas what to write. Looking out of my window most of the houses are still dark. Maybe my neighbours still in Raya holidays. thank goodness the community here are concern as we have been charged extra security fees to hire extra security guards. Most of the visitors are carefully check to enter our neighbourhood. At least it can reducing my worries about our neighbourhood safety.

I also don't have any ideas what to write here so before i start to ramble, maybe I should wish selamat hari Raya & maaf zahir batin.

Check list in the last ten Ramadhan

The holy month is almost over and I've only publish two posts. This Ramadhan I’m really in the busy mode.Here i'm at this time still writing my thesis with a guilty feeling in my head and my heart. When others trying to stay up and maximize the last ten Ramadhan as much as possible with ibadah I’m trying at this time to finish my thesis writing as I’m going to meet my SV tomorrow. Got this email from Iqrasense. Hopefully I will get some “share” for sharing this.

In this blessed month of Ramadan, we have now come to the grand finale – the last ten days of Ramadan that are even more blessed than the rest of Ramadan. In it is a night that Quran tells us is better than 1000 months (yes, months – not days).
The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said:

There has come to you Ramadan, a blessed month which Allah has enjoined you to fast, during which the gates of heaven are opened and the gates of Hell are closed, and the rebellious devils are chained up. In it there is a night which is better than a thousand months, and whoever is deprived of its goodness is indeed deprived.” Narrated by al-Nasa’i, 2106; Ahmad, 8769. classed as saheeh by al-Albani in Saheeh al-Targheeb, 999.

So, in preparation for the grand finale, here is a checklist of some of the things that we can all do to make the remaining days of Ramadan work to our advantage –
1) Get in high gear for the next 10 nights and days –

Time is of the essence. Every moment counts. Whatever you need to do for the next ten days to make the most in Ibada, good deeds, reciting Quran, dhikr, making dua, etc., rewards are going to be multiplied. No one knew about the importance of these days more than the prophet (saws). Al-Bukhari and Muslim narrated from ‘Aishah (may Allah be pleased with her) that when the last ten days of Ramadan began, the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) would stay up at night, wake his family and tie his lower garment tight. According to Ahmad and Muslim: he would strive hard in worship during the last ten nights of Ramadan as he did not do at other times.
Imam Ahmad recorded that Abu Hurayrah said “When Ramadan would come, the Messenger of Allah would say,

Verily, the month of Ramadan has come to you all. It is a blessed month, which Allah has obligated you all to fast. During it the gates of Paradise are opened, the gates of Hell are closed and the devils are shackled. In it there is a night that is better than one thousand months. Whoever is deprived of its good, then he has truly been deprived.)” An-Nasa’i recorded this same Hadith.

If we lose this opportunity, we get our next opportunity next year – assuming we are still around and are in good health and shape to make use of it. Even if we are – we have the past years’ sins on our shoulders and life’s normal trials and tribulations to face the coming year. So, there is no better time to ask Allah to make all that easier than NOW.

2) Get a Quran and recite as often as you can –

A few lines on this post can’t even come close to explaining the benefits and virtues of Quran. It is proven in the saheeh Sunnah that the Quran will intercede for those who read it at night, as Ahmad (6626) narrated from ‘Abd-Allah ibn ‘Amr that the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said:
Fasting and the Quran will intercede for a person on the Day of Resurrection. Fasting will say, ‘O Lord, I deprived him of his food and his desires during the day, so let me intercede for him.’ And the Quran will say: ‘I deprived him of his sleep at night so let me intercede for him.’ Then they will intercede.” Narrated by Ahmad; classed as saheeh by al-Albani in Saheeh al-Jami’, no. 3882.
Narrated Abu Musa: The Prophet said,

The example of a believer who recites the Qur’an is that of a citron (a citrus fruit) which is good in taste and good in smell. And the believer who does not recite the quran is like a date which has a good taste but no smell. And the example of an impious person who recites the Qur’an is that of Ar-Rihana (an aromatic plant) which smells good but is bitter in taste. And the example of an impious person who does not recite the quran is that of a colocynth which is bitter in taste and has no smell.” (Book #93, Hadith # 649)

As is stated in the hadeeth narrated by ‘Abd-Allah ibn ‘Amr ibn al-‘Aas (may Allah be pleased with them both), in which the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said:

Whoever recites ten aayaat (verses) in qiyaam will not be recorded as one of the forgetful. Whoever recites a hundred aayaat (verses) in qiyaam will be recorded as one of the devout, and whoever prays a thousand aayaat (verses) in qiyaam will be recorded as one of the muqantareen (those who pile up good deeds).” (Reported by Abu Dawood and Ibn Hibbaan. It is a hasan report. Saheeh al-Targheeb, 635).

3) If your sins are holding you to move forward, this is the time to get them forgiven –

First the bad news – In Musnad Ahmad it is narrated that Thawbaan said: The Messenger of Allah (SAWS) said:

A man is deprived of provision (Rizq) because of the sins that he commits.’” (Narrated by Ibn Maajah, 4022, classed as hasan by al-Albaani in Saheeh Ibn Maajah).
And now for the good news –

It was narrated from Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him) that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said:
Whoever spends the night of Laylat al-Qadr in prayer out of faith and in the hope of reward, will be forgiven his previous sins.”
4) What to say on Laylat al-Qadr –

One of the best dua’s that can be recited on Laylat al-Qadr is that which the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) taught ‘A’ishah (may Allah be pleased with her). It was narrated by al-Tirmidhi, who classed it as saheeh, that ‘A’ishah said: I said: “O Messenger of Allah, If I know which night is Laylat al-Qadr, what should I say?” He said: “Say: Allahumma innaka ‘afuwwun tuhibb al-‘afwa fa’fu ‘anni (O Allah, You are All-Forgiving and You love forgiveness so forgive me).”

5) Get in the class of the Pious People –
Allah has described the pious as follows (interpretation of the meaning):
They used to sleep but little by night (invoking their Lord (Allah) and praying, with fear and hope). [Quran: Surah Adh-Dhariyat (17)]
And in the hours before dawn, they were (found) asking (Allah) for forgiveness, [Quran: Surah Adh-Dhariyat (18)]

6) Finally……

Think of all that you need to ask Allah for and ask Him now. If you haven’t before, this is the time to connect with Him and feel closer to Him. And when you do during these last ten nights and days of this Ramadan, you would want to do this again and again – even after the month is over.
And finally, when you are in a state of prayers and worship, please open your heart for others as well and please do remember your brothers and sisters in your prayers. Remember what the Prophet said:

“The supplication that gets the quickest answer is the one made by one Muslim for another in his absence.” Reported by Abu Daw’ud and Tirmidhi

May we all make the most of the last ten nights and days of Ramadan…

This Ramadhan

1. Busy
I'm busy as usual. when was the last time I said I'm not busy? I can't remember.

2. Energetic
I'm really energetic this Ramadhan compare to the previous years. Alhamdulillah..

3. Bazar Ramadhan
I'm not a fan of bazar Ramadhan but what choice do I have when my favourite restaurant are closed during this Ramadhan

4. Terawih
Feeling so lucky to solat terawih in my nearby surau.It is really peaceful. SV suggested to pray in university's mosque but I told my SV saya mengimarahkan surau kawasan setempat.

5. Time flies too fast
I feel like time flies to fast during this Ramadhan. I wake up for sahur and then I realize it is already breakfasting time. Nothing much I've done during this Ramadhan. Not much progress in my ibadah or progress in the study. Btw, it is almost half of the Ramadhan, see how time flies.....

Salam Ramadhan

It is Ramadhan again. Last year as I remembered it was not a good Ramadhan experience for me as my mind was more for comprehensive exams. Even though this Ramadhan I still have loads of work (tomorrow I need to see my SV in putrajaya with my finish writing) to do but hopefully it will be better Ramadhan with a lot of ibadah. To start with I would like to share this article taken from Iqrasense. Hopefully will give some benefit to you too;

Ramadhan : The Month With Unlimited Rewards

Ramadan is at our doorsteps and like every year the anticipation of it grows by the day. Muslims the world over are looking forward for the blessings of this great month. We all can feel it – the workplace, our homes, the markets, the social media on the net – the buzz is on about the upcoming arrival of this blessed month.

However, as we start to engage ourselves with the worship and festivities of Ramadan, let’s pause and ask ourselves whether our last year’s Ramadan was better than the one before it? How did we strive to make it any better? How are we going to make the one this year better than the one last year?

One may ask – why make it better? The answer is that there is no Ibadah (worship) like fasting and Allah’s rewards for this act of worship can be limitless.

The prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “You should fast, for there is nothing like it.” [Classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Nasaa’i.]

For the hadith where the Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “Allah said: ‘Every deed of the son of Adam is for him except fasting; it is for Me and I shall reward for it…’”,

Al-Qurtubi said: what this means is that the amount of reward for good deeds may become known to people, and they will be rewarded between ten and seven hundred fold, and as much as Allah wants, except fasting, for Allah will reward it without measure.

This is supported by a report narrated by Muslim (115) from Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him) who said: The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “Every deed of the son of Adam will be rewarded between ten and seven hundred fold.

Allah said: ‘Except fasting, for it is for Me and I shall reward for it’” – i.e., I shall reward it greatly, without specifying how much. This is like the verse in which Allah says (interpretation of the meaning): “Only those who are patient shall receive their reward in full, without reckoning” [Quran: al-Zumar 39:10]

From the above, it is obvious that the rewards for fasting are multiplied from 10 to 700 to potentially limitless as He wills. So, let’s think again – Ramadan and fasting provide us the potential and opportunity for Unlimited Rewards.

However, we will be rewarded based on our actions and our intentions. The better we make our worship, the more rewards we stand to gain. That’s why we need to strive more every year – yet another opportunity to make it better than the previous.

First, let’s do some “soul searching” in assessing our intentions. What is it that excites us in welcoming this month? What are we are looking forward to? Is it the socializing, the Iftar festivities, and the change of schedules or is it about our yearning for more rewards, the hope to seek forgiveness for our sins, and hence the prospects for a better life here and in the hereafter? Our clarity of intentions as we start this blessed month can make a big difference. Consider this hadith by the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him):

“Actions are but by intention and each person will have but that which he intended.” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari (1) and Muslim (1907).

Ibn al-Qayyim (may Allah have mercy on him) said: “The degree to which a person is helped and aided by Allah depends on the degree of his intention, drive, aim and hopes. Help from Allah comes to people in proportion to their drive, intention, hopes and fears, and failure comes to them in like manner.”

Let’s heed to those reminders. Take some time to ensure that your intention is to seek rewards and forgiveness for your sins and you will observe a miraculous transformation in the nature of your actions as they will automatically get aligned to your intentions. If left uncalibrated through your sincere intentions, your actions will instead focus on the festivities and other distractions more than you getting closer to Allah, which should be your primary objective in this month. And that can’t happen unless you intend for it and take actions to realize those intentions.

Also, once we align our intentions to seek Allah’s pleasure alone (remember where Allah said that fasting is for me and I will reward for it), you will notice that ALL your actions will be for Him. You won’t leave any room for the devil to get in your heart to make you show off your actions. A man asked Tameem ibn Aws al-Daari (may Allah be pleased with him), ‘How do you pray at night?’ He got very angry and said, ‘By Allah, one rak’ah that I pray in secret in the small hours of the night is more beloved to me than praying the whole night long and then telling people about it.’

Consider this hadith of the prophet: “Whoever does the deeds of the Hereafter to gain some worldly benefit, will have no share of the Hereafter.” (Reported by Ahmad. Saheeh al-Jaami’, 2825).”

Another step you can take to make this Ramadan better is to make your worship more “goal directed” as that will help you focus on your acts of worship and will also force yourself to achieve those goals. Let’s ponder on what our pious salaf said about forcing ourselves to do more in our acts of worship. Muhammad ibn al-Munkadir said: “I struggled against my own self for forty years until it became right.”

Thaabit al-Banaani said: “I struggled for twenty years to make myself pray qiyaam al-layl, and I enjoyed it (qiyaam al-layl) for (the next) twenty years.”

‘Umar ibn ‘Abd al-‘Azeez said: “The best of deeds are those which we force ourselves to do.” ‘Abd-Allah ibn al-Mubaarak said: “The souls of righteous people in the past used to push them to do good deeds, but our souls do not do what we want them to do except by force, so we have to force them.”

Qutaadah said: “O son of Adam, if you do not want to do any good except when you have the energy for it, then your nature is more inclined towards boredom and laziness. The true believer is the one who pushes himself.”

So, for this Ramadan set some realistic goals for the amount of worship and for the levels of your sincerity and you will not only have something to strive for but you will feel more satisfied after Ramadan is over if you achieved what you set out for. And next year, you can raise the bar higher and set loftier goals – another step towards achieving unlimited rewards.

In summary, let’s pause for a few moments to straighten our intentions and ensure that they are not diluted by the typical “Ramadan distractions” such as socializing, Iftar parties, idle talk during late hours, late night TV, fashion shows, etc. Also, set some goals for this month and get set to achieve them.

Let’s pray that we get the maximum rewards possible this Ramdan.

Too many things but too little time

Too many things happened but I have too little time to write about it;


1. Me & My Sv

I've been super busy & my SV is been super efficient. (I will blog about this later if I have a time)

2. Convocation

I love to see people having their convocation.It motivates me that insyallah one day I will be in this hall too. A big congratulation to my brother who received his scroll yesterday in USM. Despite all the hurdles and predicaments he gone through including losing a son almost a year ago he manage to finish his study. I know he was really happy as early in the morning I got his mms with his picture in convocation robe. Really proud of you, bro.

3. A new member in the family

Congratulation to my brother for his first born son. The baby and I almost share the same birth date. So, please remember if you do your son's birthday party, you need to buy a cake/ gift for me too. ha3x

4. Almost separuh jiwaku pergi

I almost lost my laptop yesterday. I only noticed it when I came back home and the laptop was not inside the car. Left it somewhere in the faculty as I was doing a lot of things yesterday. Thanks Allah, no one took it.

5. Need a break again

I want to balik kampung next week but if only i have finish my work and my sv will not going to say "i need to see u to discuss about your work".

24/7

24/7/07 was the first time I posted my entry in this blog. I can’t believe I’ve been blogging for three years. How time really flies. Even though I’m not a hard core blogger who posted every single thing every day but at least my blog is still surviving. This make me think three years for Phd student using the thesis mode, they surely almost finish writing the thesis. If I compile my writing in this blog can it be converted to Phd thesis?.He3x

How I started blogging? Actually there was a course handled by the university to encourage lecturers to start writing and giving their opinions. Another objective is to improve the lecturers writing skills and the university believed one way was through blogging. I didn’t go to that blogging course instead I went to another course. A friend who attended that course came to my room and excitedly told me about blogging and she started to teach me how to create blog. So, here I am still blogging after 3 years learning it from kak Taherah.

I started out with my full name but later with the advice of my university’s blogger friends I became anonymously as Azuriy. Well...... I was not trying to be anonymous but it was due to the safety reasons that time especially from our students. The name Azuriy is not something unfamiliar to me because Zuriy was extensively used during my days in a boarding school. It was not a glamourous name far from being my nickname but we always used our five letters of our name to be embroided in our school uniforms. I still remembered our PE white t shirt, track bottom and track top too was sewn in red with five letters of my name. So, my teacher called me using that name during my PE. My bed also had been marked with a sticker written my name Zuriy. I still have that sticker until now. I didn’t understand why they put my full name but it was a girl’s school thingy. It didn’t last only during my school days but when I become a lecturer, the university gave my official email address using that five letter words also. So it seems zuriy is very synonym to me. But for my blog I added the first letter of my father’s name which was inspired when I was sitting for the international exam. I saw alphabet A infront of my name in the exam slip so that was how the name of Azuriy been created. Here I am after three years of blogging, writing about the history of my blog’s name.

The first time I started to blog, my blogger’s friends who read my blog are my university’s friends who attended the blogging course. They have their blogs too and were eagerly updating their blogs. I truly enjoy reading their blogs and they read mine too and sometimes gave their comments. After three years I found either their blogs are non existence or hidup segan mati tak mau. So, after three years at least I should be proud my blog is still exist and I’m persistently updating it even though it may be once a month. He3x

After three years I have posted 182 entries. It means on average I have posted about 5 entries in a month and about once a week.May be the first year of blogging I posted entry once a week but now it doesn't seem to be. The most visited entry was my writing on hajj a journey of the lifetime -my experience during the hajj. I hope those who read it may gain some benefits and inspired by reading it. Those rambling entries just ignore if you find it just a waste of time. If I've hurt anyone's feeling with my writing too I'm truly sorry.

One thing for sure I don't share everything in this blog. It is not an online diary. If it is a diary then my secrets will become public secrets. My family members read it too so karang teruk saya kena kutuk. He3x. This blog it just my random writings which I feel like to express or what I believe or experience. I never force myself to write and always I never looked back what I’ve written so if there was a lot of grammatical error and spellings, Pardon me and please just ignore it. I’m not good in writing anyway. I also don’t know whether I’ve improve my writing skills through blogging but who cares because my sv said writing a thesis is not like writing a blog. So blogging won’t give any big impact to my thesis writing but I think it just one way of keeping me to stay sane throughout my postgraduate years. So after three years I’m still surviving blogging. Wow…. What an achievement!!!. He3x and hopefully I can survive and persistently write in my Phd thesis too.

9 Deadly Words Used by Women

Find this is funny but sometimes it is true. he3x

1. Fine
This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

2. Five minutes
If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. "Five minutes" is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

3. Nothing
This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with "nothing" usually end in "fine."

4. Go ahead
This is a dare, not permission. Don't do it!

5. Loud Sigh
This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to number 3 for the meaning of "nothing.")

6. That's Okay
This is one of the most dangerous statements a women can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

7. Thanks
If a woman is thanking you, do not question, or faint. Just say you're welcome. (I want to add in a clause here -- this is true, unless she says "Thanks a lot" -- that is pure sarcasm and she is not thanking you at all. DO NOT say "you're welcome" -- that will bring on a "whatever").

8. Whatever
This is a woman's way of saying "F*^$ you!"

9. Don't worry about it, I got it
Another dangerous statement that refers to something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing herself. This will later result in a man asking, "What's wrong?" For the woman's response, refer to # 3.

I'm Not Sad, Not Even Angry But Just A Bit Confused

I brought some souvinears from Perth for my friends in Bilik Siswazah. Since there were not many friends coming to the room on that day I put the souvinears which were in the paper bag and placed it under my desk at my working station. It was not really expensive souvinears just small which people normally found and bought in Australia. I forgot about it and left it overnight under my desk without worrying anything. The next day I found the paper bag was empty. Nothing left. Few bottles of my mineral water were also gone. I'm not sad about the souvinears and told my friends it was not their rezeki to get it. But there are few things that make me thinking many times;

1. Who are really interested in those souvinears until took it all?. It was just cheap souvinears that cannot be sold either in Pasar malam or E bay. Or if they want to keep themselves it was not worth it either coz every souvinears were almost homogenous.

2. why do this person leave the paper bag, why don't just took it together with the paper bag because it will be troublesome to put in another bag? And definitely it was a lot to be carried without the paper bags.

3. Why do this person need to take my mineral water, there are a lot mineral water sold along the corridor and nobody knows whether you want to pay it or not. It is a self service based on trust. Why this person interested in my mineral water? Susah payah saya membawa botol2 mineral water to my working station.

Well... I'm not sad, not even angry. In fact I was laughing when I found the paper bag was empty and told my friends and sister sapelah yg nak ambik benda2 mcm ni. My friends made a few speculations about it as for me takpelah saya halalkan.

The Much Needed Break. Really?

For the couple of weeks I've been working hard to finish my work in order I will not be guilty leaving my commitment to be here;

Depression?

Something nice to share to avoid depression & I took the article from here.

Feeling down in the dumps, depressed, having the blues: these are just some of the terms used to describe a feeling of hopelessness and despair that can hit even the most optimistic of us at some point in our lives. While clinical depression requires proper professional treatment, the occasional feeling of sadness due to factors ranging from economic difficulty to harassment and discrimination can be helped through some simple spiritual practices. Here are a couple that can help:

1. Look at those below you

The Prophet Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon him, said: “Whenever you see someone better than you in wealth, face or figure, you should look at someone who is inferior to you in these respects” (Bukhari, Muslim). If you are reading this article online, consider this: you are one of the lucky set of human beings on the planet who can afford a computer and internet connection or at least have access to one. The United Nations Development Program’s 2007 Human Development Report notes that there are still around 1 billion people living worldwide at the margins of survival on less than $1 a day, with 2.6 billion living on less than $2 a day. Also consider that in the Quran (14:7), God says that if you are thankful to Him for what you have, He blesses you with more.

2. Serve your fellow human beings

The best way to thank God is to serve humanity, especially those who have less than you. Serving others is uplifting and rewarding. It helps us gain a better perspective on life’s challenges, making us realize how very often, are problems seem so small compared to the awesome difficulties others face. That’s why when the Prophet Muhammad, peace and blessings be upon him, and the Muslims were a small, poor and persecuted community, they used to give to the poor even more. They understood that when you are generous when you have less, you achieve the perspective of a winner. You are focused on the bigger picture.

3. Read Surah Ad Duha

According to one report, after the Prophet had begun receiving revelation from God, at one point a long period of time passed with no such communication from Allah. As a result, the Makkans ridiculed the Prophet and he became severely depressed. That’s when this chapter was revealed (Quran 93: 1-11). The chapter is a beautiful reminder to us to see life in the greater scheme of things, to be grateful for what we have and to never give up striving for what is right. This chapter of the Quran can be considered a direct recipe from God for depression.

4. Turn to God in all situations

Remember that nothing can harm you without the consent of God. While you must take care of yourself, rely on God and know that He is always with you and only He can give you strength in difficult times. Also remember that He will help you can come out of a trying situation as a better person if you deal with it positively.

5. Remember God’s Names

God has many beautiful Names which describe His attributes and powers. These are reminders of His Love, Mercy, Forgiveness, Justice, Strength and much, more. Supplicating to God using these Names reminds us that God has these attributes more than any other being and that we can and must rely on Him during good and bad times.

6. Say ‘Hasbun Allahu wa Ni’ mal Wakeel‘;

This has been translated as “God suffices me and He is the best guardian.” It is an excellent way of reminding us that whatever worries we have or problems we face, God has the answer and cure to all of them and is the only One who can really do what is best for us.

7. Make sure when you leave home,

you read this Dua ‘In the name of Allah, I place my trust in Allah, and there is no might nor power except with Allah.’ Bismillahe tawakkaltu alAllahe la haula wa la quwwata illa biAllah.

8. Take your spiritual break from the world,

five times a day Taking a break away from school, work or other life activities to spend a few minutes to remember God helps you reconnect with the Creator of the Universe, fortify your soul and strengthen your resolve to live a better life that is in tune with your faith and principles.

9. End your day on a good note

Shakespeare once wrote a play entitled “All’s well that ends well.” That’s good advice for dealing with depression too. End a day that may have been riddled with challenges and frustrations by making Wudu before going to bed, thinking of God and the Prophet and counting every blessings you have

10. Stop Shaytan in his tracks

Shaytan is the source of many of our negative emotions. It’s his job to make us feel pessimistic and to despair of any good in life. When you feel these feelings coming on, stop him dead in his tracks: say Aoutho billahi minash Shaytan ir Rajeem (I seek refuge in Allah from the accursed satan).

RePosting

What kind of world are we living in when it allows a rogue state to use violence and killings against unarmed people on a mission of charity. – Tun Mahathir

I didn't know about the incident of Freedom Fl*tila. I was so busy for the past few weeks with my work/world and didn't even have a glance at news from TV or reading newspapers. It was until my sister called me and told about it. A friend asked me to post this entry again and since she is not IT savvy and too lazy to find this entry so I repost it.

Again I have no words to describe what I feel towards this incident.This most vile & filthy regime one the earth who attacked the humanitarian mission. How ridiculous and disgusting they are. Attacking those who unarmed and for goodness sake they are volunteers in humanitarian mission and not well trained army!!!. but thinking it again it is not a big shock since the Israel regime is well known for their heartless and cruelty. Besides that, in my opinion Israelis are afraid of their own shadows, will never feel safe and hence their defensive attack showed how coward they are. With their allies such as US at its weakest now with economic crisis, Israel will do anything beyond the act of human or I should say a very uncivilized act or may be the barbarian act ( I can’t find a suitable word to potray this regime) to protect their regime. Enough for me to give comments on this vile regime and it is better for me to recite Al Fatihah to those who were killed in this mission and pray the next mission will be a successful one.

Here is the entry I did in January 2009,

I have no intention to write about Palestine when a lot of others have done so. I have no words to say about the act of barbarian and the cruelty of Israelis. It was until I heard somebody said nothing will change anything. What difference do we make? None, not significant at all and we will be laughed by the Israel’s allies. This somebody referred to the efforts done in helping the Palestinian issue (the solat hajat, dozens of rallies, demos, strikes for the Gaza issue and boycotting Israeli’s product). I feel so helpless for not being able to do anything to stop the Israelis madness, more helpless when I heard somebody said like this. I will respect his opinion if this somebody disagreed with the idea of boycotting the Israeli’s product but when it comes to solat hajat….I’m sad, upset, indignant and a bit emo on this matter. His words reminded me to Baba in the Kite Runner. In my really humble opinion at least they make efforts to help our brothers and sisters in Palestine. What did we do? Standing here doing nothing and mumbling who is right and who is wrong, who is stupid and who is not. Does it change anything?, definitely not. Does it significant?, totally not because we don’t contribute anything so definitely nothing will change anything . If you don’t want to make any effort, don’t criticize others who tried. If you can’t stop drinking Coke, please don’t stop praying and doa for our brothers and sisters. Don’t you believe in doa?. The strongest weapon of all, but only for those who believe. If you can’t throw a bomb to Israel, please throw a supplication to Palestine, will you?. Don’t just standing here and criticizing while hundreds of our brother and sisters are butchered. Pardon me. I’m furious not only to the Israelis but to those who don’t believe in effort and doa

Believe in doa my friends. Doa is the strongest tool of the believer but perseverance is necessary when we made our doa. My friend, N in Durham wrote that she was afraid that the major sins done by the ummah around the world has led our doa to be hijab from been granted. But she does believe in the power of Ar Rahman and Ar Rahim to His ummah. I remembered when I was Mecca, there was one TH ustaz told me make doa as much as you can even how sinner you feel you are. Never doubt in the power of Allah. He hear our sincere doa to the Palestinian. Allah knows the best in terms of benefit or harm for the individual and ummah. Thus, Allah may Delay or Deny our request if it may not be of benefit to us and the Palestinian (even we think our request is the best solution for the Palestinian & jgn berprasangka dengan Allah). Our dependence is only for Allah. Hence, we should always pray to Allah for the best option in Allah’s view.

I got an intranet email inviting all the lecturers for Solat Hajat in Pusat Islam with a poem written by ustaz Wan. A good effort Ustaz Wan in reminding others to Solat Hajat! Sorry for posting your poem without acknowledging you first.

Bertuahnya Palestine, Sungguh


Sahabat, telah kita lihat betapa

Bertuahnya Palestine
Padanya tapak Qiblat pertama umat Islam, site utama pada ketikanya, buat menghadap Yang Punya Kuasa
Menjadi Ardhul Isra' perjalanan alam paling kilat dari al-Haram ke al-Aqsa
Menjadi check point Mi'raj Nabi, the one and only kembara alam angkasa, bersua kekasih sang penguasa
bukan fantasi , realiti

Bertuah juga Palestine
Menjadi lambang aqidah umat
Punya masjid ketiga ganjaran terbesar ibadah padanya
Jadi kecintaan bangsa-bangsa besar kurang ajar
Jadi master plan Israel Kubraa , The Great Israel kata mereka
Jadi penjara dinding terbesar alaf kini (hey, bukan penjaralah, pagar keselamatan. Ooo)

Kawan, telah kita tonton betapa

Beruntungnya Palestine
Selama enam dekad dan setahun dan bertahun-tahun lagi dunia tidak pernah berhenti mengintai, menjolok mata telinga dan deria bangsanya
Selama enam dekad dan setahun dan bertahun-tahun itu , dari sebuah negara merdeka menjadi hanya dua lajur tanah kecil sekangkang kera, bangsa laknat tidak pernah jemu merobek Palestine
Dan selama enam dekad dan setahun dan bertahun-tahun itu jugalah kental jiwa dan semangat ( hanya itu pun yang mereka ada )
tidak pernah gugur dan runtuh
seperti gugurnya para pejuang ganas mereka (di mata dunia) yang meninggalkan nama dan jiwa pada pewarisnya
umpama runtuhnya istana pelarian mereka yang hampir tinggal puing-puing berpusing-pusingan
Kalau hari ini seorang Yasin, Rantisi, 'Ayyash dan Rayyan gugur dibom berkecai badan berterabur di tanah
hari esok entah sepuluh, seratus, seribu dan berapa ribu lagi Yasin, Rantisi, 'Ayyash dan Rayyan yang baru lahir tumbuh berdiri menegak berlari menanti untuk dibom dan dibom lagi

Beruntung juga Palestine
Anak bangsanya sedari umur sehari sudah kenal ombak peluru dan mortar
sudah kalis bingit suara segala macam bom dan meriam
sudah tiada lagi beza airmata sedih dan peluh gembira
Anak bangsanya berjuang kerana ingin mati mempertahankan pertiwi
sedang satu bangsa lain berperang kerana takut mati dan dihambat lari
Anak bangsanya pengganas bersenjata lastik, batu kerikil dan kadang-kadang sepatu
ditakuti satu bangsa budiman menggalas beban segala macam persenjataan bekal mempertahankan diri

Beruntung sungguh Palestine
Kerana sejarah penjarahannya mengajar kita tentang satu bangsa pengecut yang berubah menjadi kuasa dunia
- ingatkah kita, bagaimana bangsa inilah yang menolak untuk berjuang di Palestine bersama Musa AS kerana takutkan ancaman laskar perang yang sama handal atau lebih gagahnya daripada mereka yang tidak pernah diceritakan Tuhan , perhatikan siri 71 hingga 74 ayat -ayat Allah pada al-Ma'idah. Harus sekarang ingin pula mereka memilik Palestine , tau kenapa ? Kerana kekuatan ketenteraan antara dua bangsa ini lagak kejauhan langit bumi -

Bertuah juga kita saudara ...

Kerana kita ada dua pilihan
Satu pilihan untuk rasa tenang, senang dan bersenang-lenang ketika Palestine hampir seluruh watannya dijarah, diratah - hah, semalam ada kepala anak kecil tertonjol keluar dari runtuhan istana Palestine, masih panas merah segar dagingnya -
Alah, biarlah, bukan kat kita pun
Ehh, kesiannya , tukar channel lain pulak !
Isy, jahatnya Israel, tak ada orang tolong depa ka ?

Bukankah mereka ada waris bangsa penguasa-penguasa kaya-raya Arab pesisir dan sekitar?
Pohonlah bantuan ( hahaha... saudara, sudah tenggelam mereka dalam emas hitam, sudah terlena mereka dalam shopping mall yang hanya perasmiannya saja menelan ongkos berjuta, sudah terkesima mereka dalam arus dunia yang mudah enteng dan percuma untuk mereka )

Kata kita pada untungnya Palestine
apa ada pada Intifadah , hanya kerja sia-sia tanpa faedah atau entah apa ke jadah
apa untungnya Istisyhad , hanya teknik berani mati orang-orang tidak sihat
apa gunanya lawan, baik berdamai jadi kawan

Kata mereka pada ruginya Israel
Kan Tuhan dah kata : Yahudi dan Nasara tidak sesekali bersikap redha dan berlapang dada dengan kamu sehinggalah kamu mengikut jejak langkah dan telunjuk mereka

Kan bonda dan moyang kami dah kata : Biar airmata darah sekalipun, biarkan Zionis membontoti kita tidak mungkin sekali

Dua pilihan untuk ada rasa empati seperti sabda Nabi ; Tidak sempurna iman seseorang kamu jika dia tidak mengasihi saudara seagamanya seperti dia mengasihi diri mereka sendir i -

benar, saudaraku kebutuhan sokongan dan semangat
benar, muslimku kehilangan rasa dan nikmat

Sebutlah apa saja
Solat hajat doa , kecam boikot sekat halang , zakat derma sumbang lebihan,
Ia pasti hidup di atas mayat sengsara mereka
Ia pasti segar di atas gelimpangan derita mereka
Bukankah baginda kita berpesan , senjata paling ampuh orang mukmin adalah doa yang tulus mulus
Lalu ketulusan apa lagi yang kita butuhkan untuk menadah tangan , mengamin dan meraup tangan bersih kita memohon limpah sejahtera dan selesa mereka dariNYa, kalau pun tidak untuk kekalahan al-Yahud durjana ?

Muslim
Usah bercerita tentang kedajalan Zionis meratah dengan penuh nafsu serakah
Usah berdilema tentang kebuntuan PBB menyelesai telingkah
Usah berteka tentang kelesuan OIC yang sekadar boleh berkata oooh i see
Usah berdendang tentang lagu sendu Palestine yang menangis dalam ketawa rezeki syahid
Namun koreksilah fasal kedunguan kita yang ada hati rasa dan nyawa tapi tiada jiwa deria dan iman sekadar

Kawan, sahabat, saudara, muslim, mukmin
Tugas membebas al-Aqsa bukan hanya rutin al-Ayyubiyy , bangsa Arab, warga dunia semata
Ia harus jadi amanah utama aku, engkau dan hambaNya
Berkejarlah di hijrah
kerana hanya hari ini kita ada waktu
Jangan biar sehingga kita tiada punya minit untuk berteliku dan menyeru
kerana bahananya sudah tiba ke muka pintu
Firman Rabbul 'ibad : Takutilah kamu akan fitnah dan bala bencana yang tidak Allah taburkan ke atas mereka yang zalim sahaja (tetapi juga mereka yang bertaqwa) dan ketahuilah sesungguhnya azab Allah teramat pedih

u one
10 muharram 1430
070109 intelek

We may think we are not significant at all in taking the effort to help Palestine but believe me my dear friends, everybody is significant in our own way if we have sincere heart in helping our brothers and sisters. Open your heart, your mind and play our role, stop complaining and do something. Nothing will change anything unless we started to do something.

"It is the littlest people who are capable of the biggest sacrifice", (Lord Tennyson, 1870)

This may be the longest emo entry I ever done, but I need to go back to part of my jihad-study while praying for our brothers and sisters on the other part of the earth-Palestine for their safety from the hands of the evil Israelis.

Me & My SV

1. Last night, I slept like a baby after submitting my writing to my SV.

2. This morning, I got an email from my SV with to rewrite, corrections, suggestions, comments & etc*.

3. Just now, he smsed asking whether I got his email about the correction and the progress about my second essay. But, here I am at this moment still blogging what my SV asked me to do and trying to fix my external drive which is not detectable by my computer*.

4. Tonight I will have a sleepless night again but.... feeling like going back to kampung tomorrow.

*see - how efficient, competent & hardworking my SV is.
* see - how inefficient, incompetent & not hardworking I am.

24/7

I've been working like a dog for the couple of weeks. 24 hours a day & 7 days a week minus sleeping, eating, driving, chatting, taking bath and other needs. There is no weekend for me. It is tiring but this is my job and this is what I'm paid for. To my brother (whom I know is a hard fan reader of my blog) never think you work is hard and my work seems really easy coz I don't think you can survive with my world/work. Well... knowing you who loves outing, eating, sleeping, watching tv and socializing with friends my job is definitely not suitable for you. Believe me my brother, all jobs are not easy but how you make it looks and sounds easy is matter. "Life is not about surviving the storm but know how to dance in the rain". He3x. Of course there must be scarification done while doing your job. I've been limiting socializing with friends for lunch or teh tarik session. I've been spending all day in my work station or in my study room and hours in front of computer until deteriorating my eyesight. May be it sounds like I'm a very hard working PhD student but the truth is sometimes there are days without fruitful writing. There are days left with boredom and frustration. But still I believe it is a success if I can maintain the momentum to work.

The working of 24/7 started after I recovered from the fever, the momentum to start looking back at my work was a bit slow until I got a wake up alarm from my SV asking about my thesis. The feeling of guilty and responsibility to my work and SV definitely struck me. I need to do some progress in my work. Besides that, a progress report should be sent to my university and of course I don't want a bad report.

I'm blessed for been given who is really concern about the progress, sharp, smart and hardworking. The unfortunate part he got me as a supervisee who is a bit slow or may be far to slow from his expectation. When I haven't finish my first essay he already asked to see him to discuss for the third essay. There were times when he asked me to do 3 things the only thing I can manage to do sometimes only one. There were times when I have to meet him in the morning but all I can do before meeting him just sleeping without can scrutinizing my work. I always making a joke with friends, my SV just like a racing car trying to pull a bull cart.

The working sometimes beyond my capability but I should try my best. There is time I find I'm up to my limit and I need to stop where ever I have finished and just show whatever I've done. I'm amaze with friends who can stay up to 3 am in the faculty and do their work. To me their are few things which I cannot compromise especially my health and my safety so I won't do that or maybe I'm not just strong/hardworking/persistence enough to do that.

A Week: Neither Reading Nor Writing

Last week, I coincidentally met with my SV during a function in Putrajaya. It is not easy to meet him in the campus lately. A few appointments and meetings with him were cancelled due to his busy schedule. It is understandable as he is attached with other 4 leading organizations in the country. When he saw me there, he asked whether I have anything to discuss and I took that opportunity. Luckily I brought all the materials which I thought I was going to look at it if I was bored with the talk.

We discussed during lunch hour break and I was really satisfied with his comments and recommendations to my writing. He gave me due date to finish my first essay. Looking at the feedback and conteng2 on my writing made me in really high spirit and promised to finish it as soon as possible. The next meeting with him was scheduled to be next week.

However, the next day after the meeting I went back to kampung as I promised my father. Been in my father's house definitely hindered me from touching my books/computer. Too many entertainments in that house; siblings chit chat, teasing nephews and nieces, foods and etc. When I went back to my house I was still in the full spirit to make corrections on my writing and hopefully can proceed to the second essay but unfortunately I was then down with fever and bad headache. I couldn't even read the articles far from looking at my computer. The only thing I can do was becoming a sleeping beauty, only wake up for the necessaries.

In a week neither reading and nor writing have been done and I don't know what progress should I show to my SV next week. Totally no progress at all. huhuhu. Looking on the other side, eventhough I didn't finish my work due to the fever but I was losing 2 kg due to the dehydration during my fever and my sister thought I was so lucky that I don't to work out to lose that much kilos. funny huh ?!. huhuhu

Stuck In Bangladesh

Don't worry it just my ym status that makes my friends laugh. I'm doing my writing on Bangladesh dual banking system comparing with Malaysia's system. I've been exploring Bangladesh system and their instruments used for the couple of weeks still there are many things I don't really understand especially in how their instruments works in the monetary policy implementation. Anyway got this from a friend, a really nice thing to share;

Islamic Teachings & Sustainable Development

I was searching the link between maqasid shariah and the monetary policy goals. In my monetary transmission mechanism papers I need to test between conventional operational monetary policy targets with the operational targets that conform with Islamic teachings and maqasid shariah. Instead of finding what I suppose to do I found something that is really interesting; islamic teachings and sustainable development. There are a really obvious lesson from hadith and quran regarding the protection of nature.

Some orders and recommendation which are conclusive regarding sustainable development

'Eat good and lawful things and commit no oppression therein" (Quran, 20:81)

"Is not He who created the heavens and earth and sends down for you water" (Quran 27:60)

Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) " Do not cut trees, otherwise you will be punished by God"

"People who harass animals are compared with Satan" (Quran 16:90)

These are some examples which hint to this dimension of sustainable developments there a lot other texts that can be found and understand in the Quran and have a deep thought about it.

How Ignorance I Am.....

I've been trying to understand what my SV said for the past few months still I couldn't understand what he was trying to explain. For all these while I've been searching the articles, books etc to find the issues he told me. He just smiled everytime I didn't get the point in our meeting. Until tonight I feel like opening again his latest book. I read that book before but I thought it seems nothing much related to my writing and I put it aside. But when I reread it tonight... Oh my goodness the issue he was trying to highlight is there. Whatever he talked about for all these while are there.I know I should say alhamdulillah but still feeling like wanted to swallow my book or putting my head in the toilet bowl and flush it. How ignorance I am.... huhuhu

People say it is a lonely journey...

but sometimes I'm not alone coz there are still people who are willing to help me. In just a week I got these;

1. An officer from BNM voluntarily offer to help to teach me about OPR, BLR, BFR and the transmission mechanism. TQ. Got a lot of knowledge from her.

2. A Phd student saw me with a file of Maqasid Syariah papers. Since I don't have any background in that particular area and I was asked to relate it with my thesis and it is a challenge for me to understand. A very kind student I should say without any hesitation taught me on the area. Very grateful with her teaching.TQ

3. A friend brought me a book which she thought related to my my topic without been asked. Really appreciate that. TQ

4. An officer from **Bank who gave a talk which attended offered me to do an attachment with the bank so I can understand how the system works. Again TQ.

Facebook, Reunion & Secondary School Best Friend

Facebook

One of the social networking in the cyberworld which I also joined after the force of a friend. Find it useful and fun in a way but also as a mean of wasting my time.ha3x

Btw, I'm not really agree with my friends who reminiscing the old memories by attaching pictures in the facebook especially that pictures should be "sensored". Been in a girl boarding school, we were bit free and definitely there are many pictures that ought not to be seen by others. A simple example, pictures without tudung.


Reunion

Since I have started to open my fb, I found a lot of long time losing friends. These old friends started to organize reunions; primary school reunion, secondary school reunion and university reunion. Being me I'm not really interested to go for a reunion, I rather have a teh tarik session with my old friends and have chats as much as we want and stop at whatever time we want to. Usually the teh tarik session is more fun as all friends gathered really want to meet you. You are free to eat anywhere you like with someone belanja everybody else. No formal gathering with a theme and surrounded with friends sometimes we don't know even know her during school/university. Well.. one of the reunions was set on 4/4/10 and I'm still thinking of going/not going.


Best Friend

She was my best friend during my secondary school. A Sarawakian and non muslim friend who sat beside me in the class and slept next to my bed in our dorm. A soft spoken person, very graceful and nice friend. We were totally different in many ways. She learned piano in school, I don't even interested in music. She joined the girl scout, whereas I would s rather say I tak main le girl scout. She was a sprinter but being me I hate running. Except went to the dining hall together other activities we seldom did it together. We have very distinctive interests but still we were good friends.

I always imagined herself as a muslim. Looking at her behaviour I thought she will became a good Muslim. She never went out from the class during Agama Islam subject. She sat next to me doing her work while ustazah was teaching in front of the class. There were few times this situation made me uncomfortable.

I can remember vividly, there was once when I did my laundry and she was there waiting for her turn to use washing machine, I heard she was reciting Al fatihah and when I turn back I saw her smiling and said she could remembered all the verses.

The last time met and talked to her when it was the last day of the school. After our SPM she went back to Sarawak and never heard of her after that. We lost contact. I tried to find her using MR google but it seemed she never appeared in the cyberworld. Until one day, my friend H asked told me she found her in fb and asked me to add her. Never in my life I request somebody to add me, I added the request(ayat berlagak). That was the first time ever I requested somebody to add me as a friend. Happy to see her even only in the cyber world but utterly happy knowing she is a muslim now. What else can made me happy more than that?

Again, been busy and lazy

1. Time
Flies too fast and is already March. Haven't done much progress on thesis writing

2. Weather
Hot. Scorching hot!!!

3. Meeting with supervisor
Not really a success. I didn't get what my supervisor try to explain. Need to read more and more...

4. Bad Day
went to Putrajaya to renew my passport but the whole day turn out to be a bad day
i. I didn't have a proper breakfast since I wanted to arrive early to immigration department
ii. the information given about the location of the new office for renewing passport was totally wrong. I was searching that place in precinct 14 instead of it is in precinct 15 (Precinct Diplomat). Wasting a lot of time to look for that place.
iii. Forgot to turn off the light before went to the immigration department and causes the car's battery to drain and engine didn't started. Not really easy to get help now a days.
iv. took a wrong exit on the way to my sister's house and I almost half an hour late to arrive at her house. The bad day continues but i'm too lazy to write about it.

5. Reunion
Got another invitation for old girls reunion at Alamanda. I'm so lazy to go since I've been too busy lately. (ha3x alasan utk tidak pergi reunion)

I can't remember whether I have shared these quotes and I'm too lazy to check whether it had been posted in this blog or not. Since today is Friday and I feel like posting something good to be read, so here are the quotes to ponder about;


1. What refines man, is work.

2. What kills man before his death, is despair.

3. What is better than knowledge, is experience.

4. What brings man honour and esteem, is modesty.

5. What is more cherished when it is old, is a friend.

6. What gives man tranquility, is the avoidance of envy.

7. What is indeed more profitable than wealth, is wisdom.

8. What is indeed short, however long it may seem, is life.

9. What is indeed too many, however few of it there may be, is enemy.

10. What is indeed too little, however much of it one may have, is faith.

11. What is more horrific than all forms of loneliness, is selfishness.

12. What is sturdier than all other shelters, is the avoidance of sins.

*I forgot where I found and took these quotes.

2 weeks, 2 Events, 2 Workshops, Another 2 SVs & Too Tired

1. 2 weeks
Last week and this week which mean in two weeks time I have to many programmes scheduled in my planner and in my head.

2. 2 events
I have to help and attend 2 events organized by the postgraduate association.

3. 2 workshops
Involve in organizing 2 econometrics workshops. The first workshop was held last week and another workshop will be held on this coming Thursday. Due to my carelessness I lost RM100 of of the first workshop's fees. I can replace the money but still I'm feeling bad about that. I have checked many times, count it infront of my friend and make sure it was tally with the account. I couldn't find or think where that RM100 have gone. Don't tell me anymore mystique stories because i've heard enough on the day I was losing that money. Accept as it was my mistake and carelessness.

4. 2 Supervisors
My first supervisor recommended another two supervisors whom I will have to work with. Haven't settled few things regarding the signature and proposal with both of them.

5. Too Tired
Physically and mentally too tired in these two weeks.

How time flies!!!!It is already February of the year. For the past few weeks life was so hectic. I've just submitted my work to SV and alhamdulillah he accepted it without much comment.Well another work is still waiting for me but feeling like blogging today after a late night sleep last night and the hassle of printing my work today.

I wonder whether it is already too late to make a review of what happened in 2009. But still I want to make a review what happened last year

My study
It has been 2 years since I started to do my Phd journey. Alhamdulillah I have completing the coursework and the comprehensive exams. Now, I have started to write a dissertation on monetary transmission mechanism and hopefully it will be finish within two years since I have another two years of sponsorship.

My Self
Not much progress in myself except I’m obviously not getting younger by the second.Ha3x

My family
We have a great loss in the member of the family when my nephew was invited by Allah before Ramadhan last year. He left us with a lot of good and sweet memories to be remembered.

My Phone
I have written about my phone twice in the blog. Well…. my handphones were really giving me head ache last year. Never in my life I bought two handphones in a year or should I say in just few months. My first handphone I bought this year cannot be fixed anymore. Full stop. So I need to buy another handphone which I lost my handphone few weeks after I bought it and thank goodness a nice young guy found it. When I realized I lost my handphone I called my number and Alhamdulillah he answered and asked me to take it back. Well this make the third entry I wrote about handphone. Hopefully I will not write it again.

My house
Not really my house but my rented house will be sold by my landlord because he wants to buy a new house. Since the S & P haven’t settled or maybe not done yet and I still have the agreement with me with three months notice before emptying the house, I don’t feel like thinking about it with loads of work now. Anyway, I’m not really sad since my landlord is so nice and considerate and I have been living happily in this house for two years with a good neighbourhood and surau where I can go my terawih during fasting month.